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I managed to squeeze into a crowded lift in my office. Seeing that there was another guy who was standing outside of the lift and that the lift had still room for one more person, I signaled him to jump in. That was when a lady pressed the lift button to close the lift door.

Me: "Hey, there's room for one more"

She: "He can take another lift"

Me: "If we let me in, we save in electricity for the operation of another lift"

She: "If he is in this lift, the lift will be heavier so resulting in higher energy consumption"

Me: "But I am sure the increase is less than the energy taken to operate a new lift"

She: "Not really... you shouldn't argue with me... I am a trained technician"

Me: "Well... you shouldn't argue with me... I am a natural asshole"

Got Boobs?

I was reading a very entertaining blog by a Geek Chic. Befittingly named, ´Has Boobs, Reads Comics´, the blog is about an attractive girl who writes about geeky stuff. The blog has this image as its blog title.

While looking at the images of those almost impossible perfect boobs, subconsciously, I murmured ´Phoenix, Harley Quinn and Wonder Woman´ thus correctly identifying the owners of the 3 sets of boobies on the image. Geek alert.

I usually don´t classify myself as a geek. Reason being that I am under the impression that my knowledge of the superheroes and gaming universe is comparatively similar to a toddler´s knowledge of algebra. Hanging around some of my friends who are level 99 grand master Geeklords further solidifies that fact. I think I might have to seriously rethink about the notion of that. Anyway, with the among of positive attention that geeks are getting nowadays, it could be a cool and good thing to be associate as one.

P.S. I have a mint condition of the only version of Harley Quinn figurine in my collection.

Rain and Safety

These incidents happened quite some time ago and it made me realised that I can be quite an asshole at times. You might be thinking now that it is almost technically and theoretically impossible for such a nice and angelic guy like me to transform into such an ass. I would like to remind you that even the nicest guy, Jesus, that ever walked the Earth is not immune to the ass effect. Just read the bible and you will understand what I meant.

I was feeling hungry and due to the rain, I was unable to leave the shelter of my place to get some food. The easiest way, of course, was to call for house delivery. This is a luxury that we Singaporeans enjoy. We have MacDonald delivery. Just make a call and your burgers and fries will be delivered to your door steps in half an hours time. So I dialed the magic numbers in attempt to curb my hunger.

Lady: "Hello, welcome to Mac-delivery. Can I have your phone number Sir?"

Me: "Ok, my number is 9xxxxxxx"

Lady: "Hi Mr. Melvin, is your address XXXXXXXXX?"

Me: "Yes"

Lady: "Can I take your order?"

Me: "I would like to have a McSpicy combo meal please. That will be all."

Lady: " Ok. One moment please..."

Lady: "I am sorry Mr. Melvin. Due to the rain, we are currently unable to deliver"

Me: "?!!!"

I think one of the main reasons why people are not eating out at the restaurant could be that the people are stuck at their home for some reasons unknown like the bad weather condition. It could be that the company is concern about the safety of its delivery guys but seriously, curbing my hunger is a much more important issue. This is due to the fact that when I am hungry, I will be sad. And when I am sad, people die.

It is as simple as that

How time files. It has already been a month since I did a last update on my blog. I have a lot of material to blog about but I guess I was just too busy or lazy to actually sit down and put my thoughts online. There are quite a lot of things that go into a blog. Creativity, good ambient and a little sprinkle of wits are just some of the ingredients that contributes to the final deadly concoction. Another important ingredient is discipline which I have to admit that the department is found lacking in me.

Well, here are some boring updates about my life. Although they are boring, it is highly advisable that you read them. Out of pure randomness and for some unknown reasons, I have a fondness to quiz people about my life. If I found that people's knowledge of my life happening is found wanting, I will be sad. And when I am sad, people die. That is as simple as that. So don't make me sad.

I have just received an email from my German language school that my German Language A1 certificate is ready for collection. After attending a good 7.5 months of lessons weekly, I have finally fit to sit for the examination. German language is really difficult. The irregularities and grammar are ridiculous. I am glad that at least for now, after more than half a year, I can at least conjure up some proper sentences.

I have also managed to wakeboard in the cable park now. The difficulty with wakeboarding in a cable park is in getting the start right. The cable is not going to give you a smooth start. The cable tension, as described by a friend of mine, goes from 0 to 1,000 in less than a second. You have to control the sudden increase of force hence speed while performing a balancing act on the board. I finally managed to do it!

I can just go on and on with all my achievements for the past one month just because I am so damn good. Anyway, I shall end this blog with an interesting conversation that I had with a senior manager in my company not too long ago. She was deciding on the type of bed to get for her teenage son. Unable to come out with a decision, she approached me for some advice. Bad choice...

Manager: "Hey melvyn, do you have any advice on the kind of bed to get for my teenage son?"

Manager: "I saw this double-deck bed at Ikea that has a bed at the upper deck and at the lower deck, you can put in a sofa and stuff. It is good?"

Me: "No. Bad idea"

Manager: (Puzzled) "Why? Is it because it is a chore to climb to the upper deck in order to sleep?"

Me: "No"

Manager: "Then why?"

Me: "Because your son is a teenager and just give him a few months or years, he is going to bring a girl back. And during the night, they are going to (you know what). So if it is a double deck bed, there's a high chance that it is going to make squeaking sound when they are doing it. Worse still if the bed is actually placed with the end of the bed against the wall. It is going the knock against it. Coupled with the squeaking sound, it will be pretty unbearable for the rest of the lonely family members living there."

Manager: "No way....."

Me: "So do yourself a favor and get him a decent queen size bed. He is going to do it anyway so why not let him do it quietly?"

Manager: "My son will not do that! He is a nice boy!"

Me: "Come'on... think positively lady. It is actually good that your son is bringing girls home. You can be sure of his sexual orientation and that girls are finding him attractive."

Manager: "No! I am going to get the double deck bed at Ikea later this evening!"

This episode reminds me of famous saying that came from the movie A Few Good Men. "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. "